Anonymous asked: I suffer through parental sexual assault from my step-dad,if Life is really worth living,how do i tell my mom without her and my step -dad divorcing?
Well, since I have no personal experience with this problem and don’t know the exact situation (family dynamics, etc.) I am guessing my advice will probably not be the most reliable but I will give you my best shot.
My advice is: Sit down and talk to your mom. Moms want the best for their children and although she will be hurt by it, it is much better that then him continuing to do this to you. If she ends up divorcing him, that is her decision and not your fault. He is the one doing terrible things and if that makes him lose his marriage, that’s his problem. I know that seeing your mom in pain will probably be hard, it’s horrible for me to see my mom in pain too, but if he stops doing this to you then you have to try. I have friends who have been in similar situations and I helped talk them through it. The difference is, they didn’t want the stepdad and their mom to stay together. What they did was talk to their mom and tell them and the mom took control of the matter from there. In her situation, the stepdad was actually hurting the mom and doing terrible things to her as well so she was finally able to stand up against him and I believe that man is now in jail. But since you want them to stay together, tell her that. Tell her you understand that this will change everything but you had to tell her what has been happening.
These problems almost never have a perfect answer but that is my best try.
The most important thing here isn’t what happens to him, if your mom gets hurt, or your family has further problems. The most important thing is your safety. This is not your fault and you can change things.
A mother finding out her husband is sexually assaulting her daughter is a horrible, horrible thing. But what would be 1000000x worse is a mother finding out her husband was sexually assaulting her daughter until she killed herself. I don’t know how she would handle that pain. I understand life is really hard right now but you can work to change things. If you don’t see a reason to live for yourself right now, you will find one eventually, but for right now, live for your mom and everyone else that cares about you and would be heartbroken if you killed yourself. Get yourself help.
If these answers weren’t helpful enough, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE
The people you talk to there are much more prepared for your questions than I am and can help you through this.
Just remember that your life is worth living and if you stick around long enough, you will see how wonderful the world really can be.